Levi and Petras story
by Whillit
Summary: "Petra promised her self one thing:She would break Levis walls." "-Golden hair caught in the sun, revealing who the linen dressed,blood stained body was, Levi would realise that this was the third time he had let Petra Ral go. She had kept her promice, during her time she had made him feel, smile and in the end cry. Standing over an empty grave... Levi X Petra! riverta
1. Chapter 1, innocent blue

**authors note:** This is my first fanfic, I hope you will enjoy it! I'm going to continue this story, from when Petra Ral and Levi first met, until…_ Well You know the rest_...

I guess this is the time I warn for character death?

Well, i'm new here so feel free to leave a review, thank you and have a good_ read_!

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_The only thing we're allowed to is to believe that we won't regret the choice we made._

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She looked at him, he was reading a couple of documents and hadn't even acknowledged her presence since she walked into his office, his elbows rested on the desk between them.

The window was open, showing an innocent sky, without any acknowledgment about what happened underneath its pale blue.

She played with her hands nervously, it felt like moments gone by when he finally spoke." Petra Ral." She jumped in her chair, her knees bumping into his desk.

"Ye-yes chief." Her face was blossom red. He still didn't look at her, his eyes focused on the paper in front of him.

"loyal, determined, carrying, would you describe yourself as such?" His tone was casual yet it was the voice of a commander, someone in a position of power, never able to doubt his own words.

"Well, I… You are only as strong as your comrades." She straightened her back, her cheeks still blossom. The commander tilted his head but didn't look up from his paper.

"Explain."

She cleared her throat, it felt like all the air had left her and she tried to fix her collar nervously, giving herself some air, she focused on the commanders bolo tie to ease her mind.

"Hum! I mean, i'm not a strong soldier, chief but i will always help my comrades, i will always put my life on the line if it means i can save someone i care about." She noticed that she was fiddling with her hands and tried to stop it, her eyes flashed to the open window, the commander didn't say anything so she continued."I… I'm not strong or brave, I'm… If i am its only because i know my comrades will be there for me as i will...For them."

"I want to assign you to captain Levis special operation squad."

Levi? She knew that name, of course she did, there wasn't a human alive nor dead that didn't know that name. He was known as humanities strongest warrior, the rumors had spread around him like a wildfire. Commander Erwin Smith had taken him in, as the rumors went Levi once used to move within the criminal circles, in the underground city. He had been taken in because of his superior skills with the 3D maneuver gear. Petra had never seen him but she had heard enough. He was impulsive and Smith's personal guard dog, it was said that his last squad had died in his service a long time ago. She braced herself. "hum, chief, Levi-"

Erwin looked at her, his blue eyes harch, his mouth stretched to a thin line, his jaw strong and clenched, his hands fists. "What about Levi."

She swallowed, almost shaking, her amber colored eyes met his."No-nothing, its an honor, i've-"

"Nothing more to it then, you can find your self at the survey corps headquarters tomorrow."

Erwin turned his attention back to reading the documents in front of him.

Levi, she was going to work with humanities strongest, a special squad, she felt her stomach curl. Her father would be so worried about her, she didn't know what to say to him, working with the survey corps was never a safe task but for Levi? He was known of getting his squad members killed while running special missions only he could take on. Her throat felt dry no matter how much she swallowed. She could already see her fathers worried face in front of her asking her to leave the force.

"That was all."

Petra jumped again. "Yes, yes Chief!" She got up from the chair, almost tripping it over while she fled towards the door. Her hand rested on the doorknob, bird song echoed from the open window.

"Why me...I mean, why me chief?" She looked at the door, scared of meeting his eyes."I'm not strong, I...I know my statistics 6/10 on battle skills, 7/10 agility, I can't even compare to his shadow, its people out there thats stronger than i could ever be."Her voice almost cracked, she wasn't really sure why.

"I'm, I'm sorry chief i shouldn't-" She opened the door, her eyes stinging.

"You scored 9/10 on teamwork and 10/10 on kindness, its something you can't train Miss Ral. A big heart and determination thats whats really matters in war, i've seen stronger men die their first day but kindness, looking out for your comrades thats what takes you far… Even tho, i can't answer that question Levi was the one who chose you."

She opened the door wider while she wiped a tear away that had escaped her hold with the help of her arm, a vague smile on her lips, god she hated that she was so weak.

"Thank you chief." she said while she disappeared behind the door.

"Levi, Levi, Levi… Poor girl, she has no idea what awaits her, what did you think?." Erwin said while he took a sip of his coffee, the back of Levis arm showing thru the opened window."A bit of a cry baby, she'll do, as you said she has a big heart." His voice was emotionless to the line of bored.

"I just used your words."

"Whatever."

"Don't you have more important things to do then standing here? Like writing those reports?" Erwin took one more sip from his coffee.

"Don't you have more important things to do than talk to me?" Levi was still standing with his back towards the window, his composed voice made it impossible to read his emotions.

"The report."

"Big ass trees, people died, dirt, blood, bath, done."

Erwin sighted, still with a smile on his face.

"You will never learn."

"You can't teach old dogs to sit."

"No, but you can force them."

"Freak."

"Maybe so…" Erwin murmured, Levi had already walked off without a sound.

"Petra Ral…" The only thing he could foresee was that she would die, they all did, Levi brought death wherever he went, not that Erwin would ever admit it.

He turned around to the innocent blue sky, how much blood that ever would be spilled, it would never be enough to color the sky scarlet, let it never rain blood.


	2. Chapter 2 being human

**Oh my! Im so sorry for the slow update on this chapter, to be honest i had forgotten about it! **

**I decided to bring it back to life!**

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Petra felt at her hands shaking nervously in her lap while she stared up at the sky high above her. How could something look so pure and unstained in a world like this? For a second she couldn't help but envy the clouds. How they so pure and white gazed down at her, letting the wind carry them far, far away with its gentle embrace. She envied over what they'd seen and was going to. How they could go to places she'd never heard about. Mountains reaching from a pale blue surface, always shifting, the sea. How it would see the white mountaintops, how it would freeze and turn to snow.

She let her hair fall over her amber colored eyes while she studied her hands closely. The other girls had always teased her over how fragile they looked. How easy they would break, like a dry stick under a firm foot.

"_boooh!" _

Petra couldn't help but let a small scream escape her, she looked up just to find two brown eyes studying her with amusement behind a pair of thick glasses.

"ooh! A bit jumpy are we? Its fine, I like them jumpy… Are you a good jumper? You look like a fast runner at least considering the bone structure in your legs. First meeting with Levi, ey? I would be jumpy as well if i was in your place!"

The woman's nose was almost touching her own, a wry smile played on her lips. Her messy chestnut colored hair draped either side of her face like a couple of curtains.

When Petra didn't say anything the woman backed off, looking down on her, her head slightly tilted as if Petra was an experiment she couldn't wait to solve.

"Are you always so short? Maybe thats why Levi picked you! He wanted someone to look down on for a change…" No its not it, maybe he just has a weak spot for blond girls, tho i've started to come to the conclusion that he doesn't have a weak spot at all. I'm starting to think that he plays for a hole other team, if you catch my drift." Oh, _oooh! _Don't look at me like that!" Even so… You do have kind eyes…" The brown haired woman said, she had started to walk back and forth in front of the bench that Petra was waiting on, while she spoke she gestured wildly with her hands, as if she was holding some sort of presentation.

"Ah-ha! May I ask you a personal question?" The woman said without waiting for an answer."When was the last time you peed? Because i've been sitting in that house right over there" She said while she pointed towards the infirmary."And i haven't seen you pee in the last three hours… You're bladder control is great, works for you benefit out on the field!"

Petra could feel her face getting warm, she swallowed tightly, trying to look everywhere except on the odd woman in front of her.

"I'm only joking..! No i'm not, well any way _kind eyes_, are you ready to meet your new superior? Oh, I can't wait for you to get started, if he approves of you, my rooms are kinda close to yours so we can stay up all night and talk about titans… And your peeing habits."

"Ti-Titans?!" Petra squeaked, gripping the fabric of her uniform tightly over her heart.

"Oh, i'm sorry kind eyes, didn't mean to scare you there, I know its really exciting but you'll have to wait! If we leave Levi hanging any longer he won't be happy with us!" Before Petra got a second warning the odd woman had dragged her up, holding her arm in an iron grip before she started walking off towards the main building.

"Wait are you Zoe Hanji? Because she was supposed to meet me here three hours ago." Petra said, trying to keep the same paste as Hanji.

"Thats my name don't wear it out!"

Zoe Hanj, this day just gets better and better. She was known for being a freak and people often spoke of her as "that woman" or "The titan woman" or just "crazy eyes" for some reason that seemed to be enough to identify her.

Her love for the titans and her odd behaviour seemed to be about right as the rumors went.

Petra had however expected Hanji to be taller. People always spoke of Hanjis great length next to commander Levis. _Levi._

Petra fought the instinct to jerk her arm out of Hanjis grip and just run in the other direction. Survival at its finest.

When they reach the main building Hanji stopped, looking down questionably on Petras shoes, she hadn't had time to change into the uniforms long leather boots. Instead she was wearing her own old hunter boots she'd inherited from her father.

They were covered in dust and worn out but they had a good fit and Petra hadn't the heart to throw them away.

"Okay kind eyes, the shoes gotta go, don't ask why but you don't want to make a mess on your first day." Hanji said while she laughed as if she just said the greatest inside joke of all time.

Petra didn't question Hanji instead she reached down and unbuttoned her shoes, she leaned them gently towards the main buildings strong, stony wall.

"Oki~Doki! Are you ready to meet your doom?" Hanji said while she opened the doors ignoring Petras panicked stare.

"So this is the main corridor, this one leads towards the commanders offices and that one leads towards a small cafeteria, I know _right_? How do they afford a cafeteria! Well it used to be my personal study, but they moved it to the basement, something about screams and cries… I didn't really listen."

While she spoke Hanji pointed eagerly towards different doors and corridors while people passed them on their way towards Levis. Hanji smiling, waving eagerly towards every one of them. They greeted her back, some with a small formal nod and scared glare or a welcoming embrace. Everyone seemed to atleast know about Hanji Zoe or "that woman" and Petra couldn't help to smile towards the frame of Hanjis back while she talked eagerly, trailing of from the subject and commenting on an old experiment in which Petra just understood half the words.

At last they reached an old door and Petra couldn't help to notice how far they'd gone. She looked back, the floor here was clean and looked untouched as if no one had walked this road before them. The walls was unstained and the windows on the left side cleaned and sparkling, but it wasn't the unmarked environment that had teased her mind. It was how far off this room was, it was the only door she'd seen down this entire corridor.

She looked down at her bare feets and couldn't help to notice how vulnerable she felt without her thick hunter-boots, protecting her from the cold floor, she shivered.

"Are you okay there kind eyes? He won't bite, I think… Any way, let me just give you a headstart, don't touch anything, if he asks you to sit, you sit but _don't touch anything_. Look into his eyes and try not to ask any questions, I'm sorry that his coming of like a total nutjob but.. Yea…"

Petra stared at the undeniably mad woman in front of her, had she just called Levi a total nutjob? Petra didn't know how to respond so instead she braced herself and nodded more to herself than Hanji, _she could do this._

"Okay kind eyes, you ready?" Hanji said while she kept up her trend of not waiting for an answer.

It felt like it took forever for the door to open and for a second all she saw was white.

Then her surroundings started to clear.

A big desk stood in front of a window, it was clean and Petra couldn't help to notice the lack of personal belongings. Even Erwin had small attributes speaking of a life once held outside the military but nothing that could be of personal value semede to hide in this room.

Drawers that just as much could be empty rested on either side of a simple grey carpet and beneath that a shiny wooden floor. By the holy walls it looked like you would be able to do a heart transplant on the naked floor yet the surroundings didn't compare to the man that wa lending in the chair behind the desk, feets placed on its clean surface.

He looked more like a boy than a man. His black hair hanged lazily on either side of his face, his skin pale and features simple. Simple wasn't a good word but it was the only thing that came to mind. Except that his eyes was far from it. It wasn't that they were an odd color, something between blue and grey it was the stare in them. Thick dark circles underneath the pale blue followed by heavy irritated eyebrows, but when Petra met the lazy gaze her heart almost stopped.

He looked so bored, no bored wasn't the word, dead, lazy? Maybe both but it wasn't a commander's eyes she looked back at, not Erwins strong determined stare that forced you to keep eyecontact, no. Levis eyes was the once of someone that had given up life, as if everyday was a pain and he couldn't wait to end it all but it didn't make any sense, how could someone that fought so well and be so strong give up on life? It had to be something else, maybe sorrow? No that wasn't it, sorrow would never be able to fill the hollowness, the only thing that seemed to be able to fit was a small irritation between the eyebrows, as much as she knew he could be dead.

"Hanji you stupid four-eye, i've been waiting for hours, where the hell have you been?"

His voice was drained as well, just as fitting to the cold eyes as a fish to its pond.

"Nah-ah brat you can't keep this one on me, i merely did you a favor bringing kind eyes here."

Petra was shocked over the teasing yet friendly tone Hanji had towards Levi.

"What ever, would you mind leaving? I have an interrogation booked with Missis Ral."

"No you don't, the interrogation was three hours ago-"

"Leave now and you won't risking my foot in your face."

Petra couldn't help the she shiver that went up her spine, oh great wall Maria what kind of people are they!

"Wow! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the kids table! Well any way i have an experiment running loose, literally… So I don't have any more time to spare but if you ever want to play with the big kids you know where to find me!"

Hanji said backing out before she rested her hand on Petras shoulder, forcing her to get her attention, her eyes looked kind, a warm brown that despite the reputation didn't look insane, more knowing, carrying even.

"Take it easy kind eyes, you get the hang of it and for you-" Hanji said looking at Levi."You, take it easy or else I will tell Erwin that you are late with that report! Don't miss me now~!"

The sound of a door closing brought Petra back to the present.

She looked at Levi who was studying her, his eyes wandering up and down her body casually as if the mere thought of her bored him.

"Sit"

She didn't wait for a second warning, instead she took the advice Hanji had given her, the small chair was low, forcing her to look up.

She tried to look into Levis eyes but it was found harder than she thought. It was something with him that screamed for you to look away, she started fiddling with her hands again, _don't break, don't break!_

"Whats your name?"

He knew her name but she still didn't question him.

"My names Petra Ral."

"Gender?"

"wha- I... Female." She wouldn't let him break her, still she somehow felt humiliated by his earlier question, her hair might be short but you couldn't misplace her for a man, could you?

"Weight?"

"55kg" Her cheeks started to fade red again, she forced herself not to break the eyecontact.

As if Levi sensed her growing fear he took down his feets from the desk, lending forward until he rested his elbows on its smooth surface, he and Erwin seemed to share the same love for strange ties, or what ever you might call them.

"Height"

"158 centimeters, sir!" Had Levi just smirked or had she imagined it?

"Status?"

Status? What did he mean, if she was popular? Then the answer had to be no, she had never been liked by the other kids, spent most of her time alone as a child, looking out on the sky from her fathers workshop. She had to ask.

"Sir?"

"Dead or alive?"

"Alive, sir" What kind of question was that?

"Specie?"

The question seemed so absurd that it caught her off guard, she almost falled backwards in her chair.

"wha- I mean, I…"

"Are you human, Petra Ral?"

Human? Why wouldn't she be human, of course she was human, what else could she be? A bird, a small squirrell? But what did it really mean to be human? She remembered all the times she'd fantasized behind the secure glass of her father's workshop, hearing the familiar sound of a hammer in the distance, so familiar yet so safe.

She used to pretend that she was an observer, watching the world and the people in it. Her small world behind the walls, behind the glass.

She remembered that one time when she had seen her neighbor's son play with a couple of buckets filled with water. The closest well was next to Mr Chapman's tailoring and it took a couple of hours walking there.

It had been an innocent game, balancing the buckets of water on your head. The boy had laughed in delight when he'd survived two meters without spilling a drop of water, he waved his hands on either side of him, keeping his head straight.

Thats when his mothers voice broke the laugh. _"Rue? Rue?! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" _The womans voice had been a high pitch scream when she came running after the boy, the buckets of water spilled on the ground, washing away the thick layers of dirt.

It had all gone so fast, in one second the boy had been laughing in the next he was pushed against the wall, his mother slapping him across the face leaving red marks where she went.

He had been screaming, crying even, Petra had been too shocked to even react.

People had walked by without giving the pair a second glare when the boys blood mixed with the water, coloring the ground with pink flowerpettals.

He had later on been dragged inside and the yelling had continued for what seemed an endless time.

That hadn't been human, nothing like that could be human. Being human was something you had to earn unlike the mother who slapped her own child.

Petra cleared her throat knowing of how long she'd stayed quiet in bitter memories. She knew that Hanji had warned her from asking questions and not answering correctly but a moment of bravery flew by and she couldn't help it.

"By specie, yes even if i can't say that for certain."

The moment of bravery flew by when Petra saw how Levi stiffened in his seat.

"What do you mean?"

"Being human is something we are born being, even tho everyone doesn't have the right being called human, being human is something you have to earn. Calling your self a human being is one thing saying that you're human is one other, god doesn't call himself a god."

The room grew oddly quiet it was as if a thick fog had settled around them.

She'd screwed up, she was going to be send home, what would her father think? He was going to be happy to have his daughter back but would she be able to face him?

It felt like hours went by, decades as the commanders stare pinned her down, forever unable to move.

"Welcome to the squad."

"_whoo-hoo!" _Hanji yelled from outside the door, it quickly followed by a small shatter.

Petra couldn't help it she started to cry.


	3. Chapter 3 The two times Levi cried

**Hi, I'm so sorry for the slow update on this story! I now have enough to keep updating for a while tho! c: **

**Please leave a review and follow for more! see ya~**

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"Did you read the reports i gave you?" Hanji asked while they walked towards the main building.

It had only gone a day since Petra Ral had been accepted into Levis special operation squad and Hanji had already left her 5 different reports. The first two ones included a detailed observation on how to get titan blood of your clothes, if it against all odds wouldn't evaporate on its own. The second one contained combat tactics on how to kill titans as fast as possible, the third one left her qlueless. It was a full report on "how to pet your titan." She hadn't dared to read that one, thinking it was a bad joke from Hanji, while the last ones headline read: Bladder control.

"Witch one?" Petra asked yawning, it had been a long night.

"_Witch one_?! All of them of course… Are you trying to say that you haven't read them?"Hanji asked while she looked behind her shoulder, head slightly tilted and glasses shaded.

Petra began fumbling with the sleeves to her uniform, Hanji had a tendency to look intimidating when ever she asked a serious question. It wasn't often, not because she didn't master a scary looking face when needed, but mostly because it was rare for Hanji to be serious at all.

"I-I… I read the one on combat skills and titan blood…" She trailed off, looking away from Hanji that had started walking backwards.

"Whaaaa! But now you won't know how to treat a titans decently, or how to prevent kidney stone!"

"I… I didn't know that… That I would need to know how to treat a titan… Well…" Petra looked down on the sanded road, counting the stones..._1,2,3_…

"Ah~I know what this is about, you're nervous Kind Eyes!"

"I-I'm… not_"...4,5,6…_

"Oh don't worry, I'm sure they will love you!...Well, love is a strong word but at least they won't find you repulsing! Thats good right? I remember one time, a guy from the cafeteria he said that i was repulsing, I think his name was… Mark, something… Maybe it was because I had titan saliva all over my self, but i wanted to see how it would react towards my skin and-"

_15,16,17_…

"Hey! Are you listening to me?"

Petra almost stopped midstep, looking up from the road."Oh, I'm so sorry Hanji! I didn't get much sleep last night… I know its not a good excuse, I just-"

"Oh, don't worry about it! As i said i'm sure they will accept you! I heard that Bezado was a nice guy, a bit obsessed sometimes… But nice, his strong tho! I heard that he killed 25 titans solo and-"

_25 titans_?! She hadn't killed… she hadn't, well… Had she ever killed any titan on her own? She usually stuck close to her teammates, aiding them and helping out.

25 titans… Singlehanded…

She stopped, she could feel her hands trembling while they started to pull furiously on her sleeves.

"Hanji…?"

Hanji had kept on talking, walking backwards and signaling with her hands while she was lost in the conversation, but she stopped abruptly when she saw Petra, standing nervously before her.

"Yes?"

"I- I'm not strong, I can't even… How will people like me- How… When...I don't even deserve talking to them." She felt silly. She always had to make a scene, why couldn't she be stronger? Why couldn't she keep her emotions in control like Levi, no. Not like Levi, Levi didn't keep his emotions in control, he simply didn't have any.

"Hey, kind eyes don't say that!" Hanji said while she walked up to her, putting her hands on her shoulders. "You must be something special, or else that stupid old geezer wouldn't have picked you, hey, hey! Look at me!" Hanji said while she forced Petras caramell eyes to meet her own hazelnut brown." Sometimes it can seem like Levi don't care-" Petra frowned unwillingly and hanji couldn't help to smile at her reaction."Okay, okay… It always seems like Levi doesn't care but trust me on this one, he does… Short stuff cares way too much and he would never have picked you if it was a chance you would die one day. Levi have lost too much to risc that ever happening again."

Happening _again_? How many people had died in Levis care?" Levi lost his teammates a long time ago, wait... Teammates isn't the right word, they were more than that, friends, family. In the end when you've saved a persons life a certain amounts of times they become more than just a member of your squad, they become family…"

Hanji put her hands over Petras, forcing her to stop fumbling on her jacket.

"Thats why his so cold, his afraid of carrying, to like someone, because he knows how it is to lose someone he loves. He have put up walls bigger than Maria herself just to keep people away, trust me kind eyes, he would never let anyone join so that they could simply die one day." Hanji said smiling before she hit Petra in the back of her head.

"_Ouch_! What was that for!?"

"That was for doubting yourself… And this-" Hanji pinched her arm lightly."This was for not listening before."

Hanji let her hands go and started walking towards the main building again."Oh and Petra?"

"Ye-yes?"

"If you ever die, I will kill you."

Petra gasped when Hanji put on her scary face but she couldn't help to smile.

"Did you know that titans don't like the smell of fish? I know right? Oh and i wonder how they got the stones so small for this road, do you think they chewed them small? No, you're right that would be silly! Maybe they stepped on them, ha, i know-"

Hanji trailed of, her moments of clarity and seriousness had taken its price.

So Levi had lost someone? She couldn't help too wondered what had happened to him, what could have created those dead eyes and right there and then Petra promised her self one thing: She would break those walls.

She would make Levi feel again, she would make him smile, cry… Because crying was a part of life, her father had always told her that crying was the souls way to breathe.

What Petra didn't know was that she would, during the time she got to know Levi, fight with him... And much more, she would make the commander both feel, smile and cry.

Feel many times over, she would see that smile of his on a couple of rare occasions, the smile she would secretly grow to love, but Petra Ral would only get Levi to cry twice.

The first time with her and the second time because of her.

A sunny summer day, after golden hair had been caught in the sun, revealing who the linen dressed, blood stained body was, Levi would realise that this was the third time he had let Petra Ral go.

Standing over an empty grave, the others long gone except a sobbing Hanji, she had never been a pretty cryer the shitty four eye. Only then, when the rain had started, and could hide the tears rolling over a vague smile, had Levi allowed himself to cry one last time."s-stupid...crybaby...Look at what you did."


	4. Chapter 4 The special operation squad

Petra Ral wasn't sure what she had expected, maybe something within the lines of strong-minded, determined soldiers, she had never been so wrong and right at the same time.

The small road was broken as if it had given up long ago, sure that it had served its purpose and that no one would walk its narrow path further.

Abandoned buildings fronted it on either side, some with gaping mouths and hollow eye-sockets where they lacked windows or doors.

The world was quiet around them, they had left the busy streets and constant running at the superiors headquarters behind them.

Nothing except the sound of nature following them, even if a quiet moment didn't exist with Hanji Zoe.

Petra didn't mind it tho, she had found a liking to the crazy woman walking beside her.

Chatting non stop about titans, sometimes Petra could doze off,"-and that's why eating cheese while taking a dump is-" and wake up to"-titans don't like it when you scratch them behind the ears.-"

Petra had given up on trying to understand her superiors mind long-ago.

Still, she couldn't help to admire her, behind those thick glasses, messy hair and if some crazy obsessions was a kind heart and sharp mind.

She had only met Hanji yesterday still it felt like they had known each other for years.

"We'll, home sweet home!"

Petra looked up, where the road finally had met its end a small fort greeted them.

Fort was a fair word to describe it as, it looked like someone had taken a box and turned it upside down.

Stony, strong walks and small windows followed by a big wooden door.

"It used to be the old survey corps headquarters but got abandoned when they build houses here for those who immigrated from wall Maria." Hanji said while she looked at the house with a soft expression, covering her eyes from the sun.

"It's beautiful..." Petra said, and she meant it. It wasn't often you could find a quiet place like this, she wondered if thats why Levi had chosen it.

The solitude and lack of people, just like his office it was far off from others.

Maybe her new captain didn't like to socialise or he just found it more peaceful with quiet surroundings.

"We are awaiting Levi at any moment now, the others are already inside." Hanji explained, her hair somehow seemed messier today, like she had deliberately ignored washing or come it.

"Probably cleaning their ass off."

We'll that explained it, Petra knew one thing for sure about her new captain, he liked it organised, clean, and the day in honour Hanji was everything but.

Her hair a mess, uniform stained and her glasses spotted with greasy fingerprints.

Levi and Hanji was just like cat and dog even if they both seemed to shared a special bond.

"Oluo Bozado, Eld Jinn and Günther Schultz."

Hanji said looking down at Petra, amusement reflected on her face.

"... Wait... What, that's it?! 3 people?"

"Levi and you as we'll, these guys holds some of the records, we don't need any more, they would just be in the way, of course we will join forces when needed, Mike Zacharius will also attend, but we will focus on special missions."

That name...

Was she drowning, falling? What about suffocating or maybe all three.

It felt like the ground underneath her opened up, water stopping her from moving and kept her out of breath.

She saw her self bullied as a child, not strong enough to help her father, not able to help the boy with the buckets, the soldier boy in uniform knocking on her door with blood stained wings.

She saw herself standing in front of a door, she knew what would happen if she opened it, it had called to her so many times before. Every time she was weak, every time she couldn't help. A constant reminder in the back of her mind, a sealed memory always knocking.

It was familiar, a thick wooden door, it's handle worn out after every time it had been opened and closed, people coming and going. A simple carving. Thin lines marked the growing of two children, one particularly longer than the other.

"Mr Elek Ral, sir... ?"

The voice echoing, the words sollid, she could almost, just almost reach up and touch them, but if she did they would turn into something real, and she didn't want that reality, never again.

Small hands grasping the door handle, the hands of a child, chubby and strong.

Then white, a boy in uniform, the wings representing freedom-the hope of humanity- broken.

The soldier boy was holding something wrapped firm In a blanket, blood. He gave it to her, his face a mask, eyes so empty, so filled with something,_ something_ she only seen once before, levi, she laughed, holding the new gift tight in her arms, unwrapping it.

She recognises the hand she now was holding in her own, as so many times before.

The scar behind the thumb, made by a hammer working late at night.

The hardened skin after hours of handiwork, still soft against the skin where it would stroke the hair out of her eyes, now covered in blood. Red coloring her world.

_Her brothers hand._

The laughing stopped and the hand falled to the ground, a singing bird quieted, falling when its wings shattered, torn apart limb by limb, feather by feather.

"It was the only thing we could save, I'm... I'm sorry... If you ever, I promised, I-I will be strong for him, I was just in the way. My failure killed him, my weakness... Adrian Ral died so I could live, because... I won't be weak any longer... My name is _Mike Zacharius_, if you ever want to find me one day..."

The child's amber eyes wide, silent tears running down her cheeks. The hand at her feats, belonging to her only friend, it colored the floor crimson, a spot never able to clean, like the scar in her heart...

No,_ no_! She had to close it! Close the door, she was to weak not again.

The door had to close no!

_"Petra? Petra?!"_

She blinked, her hands sweaty, eyes stinging. Blue sky, blue, clean unmarked.

Then, messy hair, a pair of brown worried eyes...Why did they look so familiar?

"...Hanji?" The voice was shaky and weak, she almost didn't recognize it as her own.

"Oh god... I thought she was dead! Shit!" A new voice she never heard before said, relieved.

What happened... The last thing she remembered was...

"Tsss... Shut it Bozado."a dragging voice, it sounded like it had forced itself out, like the words was painful, so filled with hollowness...Levi, the man with dead eyes, like the one in her memory, like the one in her dreams.

"Sorry captain I-_ ouch!"_

"What happened Oluo? Someone bit your tongue?" A third voice... Amused still serious, it was deep and she tried finding its source but all she saw was blue sky, endless and endless of blue. She closed her eyes.

"-Nngh! Shut it Gunther!"

"Focus"

"Oh, look he talks, long time no see Eld!" Eld, who- wait… She recognized the name, the special operation squad.

"I was right here all along..."

"Ohh... Probably didn't notice you, it's not like you're causing a riot or anything-"

"What the hell happened." Levi, his voice so bored that you first couldn't catch the question behind the words.

"We just arrived when she... Got all stiff and then poff...!"

"Poff?"

"She fainted..."

Oh... So that's why her head hurt, she could feel the ground hard beneath her.

_Wait, waht?!_

That's so embarrassing, she fainted her first day? In front of her new comrades! Why, why did she always need to cause a scene? Why was she always the weak one! Maybe if she played dead they would just leave...

"Hey! She's starting to get all red! You think she's dying? Should we do something?"

Petra could feel her cheeks blossoming... This was so awkward. _Oh god, oh god, oh god_! Why can't she just disappear! She knew it was silly, and that she was to old to feel awkward but this was... Awkward!

She had to do something... Fast.

"I-I... I'm sorry!"

She could hear a small squeak.

"Wow, I'm so glad Oluo is here to save us from the passed out girl on the ground! Why don't you scream a bit more, I think it helped! Maybe piss your self when you're at it?"

"I said shut up Gunther! Before I make you!"

"Ooh, tempting!"

"Either you both shut up or I will send you back to the small, shitty dump you came from, Hanji would you...help her or something... And take a bath while your at it... Shitty four-eye..."

"Oh, come on pip-squeak, I dressed down specially for you!"

"Tss... Just help her."

Petra soon felt a pair of firm hands on her shoulders, helping her up in a sitting position.

"Petra? Hey, kind eyes open those eyes would you? Oh! Wait, maybe if you like you can keep them closed and we can experi-"

"Hanji."

_"Whoopsie_! I mean, kind eyes... Are you okay?"

Petra opened her eyes again.

Hanji was still sitting beside her, only that this time she could see Levi standing arms crossed and with a blank expression at the side, he didn't look at her, he was too busy studying a small speck of dust on his otherwise impeccable uniform.

A brown haired man wearing the usual uniform with a green cape looked at her worried, his brown eyes gentle.

That's when she saw the man standing in front of her, his hair short, cut just like... Like_ Levi_? He had a bored expression, like he was deliberately trying to be... Bored. He even had the same taste for a cravat… This was starting to get awkward! She had to say something!" Um, I'm sorry... Do everyone need to wear a cravat? I mean, is it a special squad uniform thing?" She said pointing at the grey haired man looking just like Levi. Somehow it irritated her.

"What the!?-"

She heard a small gasp, Hanji had started shaking violently, tears runnign down her cheeks.

" Hanji? Are you-" Her question got silenced by a hysterical laughter, Hanji falling down on all four, hitting the ground with her hand while the other one clutched at her stomach.

"Oh, Im- Im... Sorry, its just... It does look... It looks so, so ridiculous!" Hanji forced out, her face red.

"Tss… stupid-four eye, I won't let you in after you've played around in the dirt…."

Had she imagined it or had Levi smirked?

"Haha-oh... I... I said it was stupid Oluo, damn copy-cat!" The brown haired man said, laughing at Levis last comment and at Hanjis reaction.

"Oh, Gunther I'm gonna-"

"Welcome to the squad Ral." She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and flinched, a pair of soft brown eyes looking back at her, he had blond hair with a folded ponytail and a small beard.

She just stared."th-thank you."

"I hope it's cleaned inside..." Levi muttered.

"Yea welcome." Gunter said while Hanji still was laughing at a more and more embarrassed Oluo.

So this is it? The special operation squad, the strongest men in the military…

They were all lonetics! She couldn't help to love them at first moment.

She wondered what would happen to them, if they would come to know each other for years, she hoped so.

No one seemed to notice the small trembling of her hands.

Oh, Adrian, what would you say if you saw me now? A clean freak as captain, a mad woman as her superior...

You died for your comrade, you died for him… Will I have the same faith?

No, I won't be weak like he was, I won't be weak. I won't die for my comrades I will live for them.


End file.
